More Than Just My Toes Getting Stepped On

IMG_5941 This is the story of how I died…

…this is actually a pretty funny story:) I didn’t REALLY die, I just stopped doing something. And this is why I stopped.

My family and I used to live on a farm, and on that farm we had an assortment of different animals. We had chickens, rabbits, fish, goats, and most important in light of this story, horses. And as you can imagine, we loved to ride them. We would ride our horses almost every chance we got. But there was one pretty big problem with that…

We didn’t really know how.

Yeah, we weren’t exactly experts when we first sat in the saddle. At least at first, my sisters have grown in their knowledge greatly since we started. Thank God we had friends who were experts and were willing to teach us, but even then, we made many mistakes. We got hurt a few times even. Actually a lot. Especially me. And there was one time where I had had it. I was done.

Finished.

Caput.

I remember it well:

My sisters and I were out going for our normal afternoon ride, and we were all excited, for we had gotten our first crop (for those of you who aren’t savvy with horse stuff, a crop is a stick-like whip we use while riding). The funny thing about it was…we didn’t exactly know how to use it, just like a lot of other things back then. But we figured, “You hit the horse on the butt with it, the horse will go faster, nothing to it.”

At that point I wish there was someone that would slap me upside the head and tell me, “You asinine ingrate! That ain’t how you use the stinking thing!”

Sadly, I didn’t, so that’s what I did.

I climbed on the horse, tapped him on the side with my boots, and we were off.

That’s when I used the crop.

Apparently our horse had never really been adjusted to using a crop or anything, so, as you can imagine, he flipped out.

And I flipped off.

Yeah, I decided to bail off before I got hit by a tree branch.

Worst mistake of my life.

As I landed, I felt all of my weight come crashing down…but more than my weight ended up on me.

After I fell, the stinking animal (yes Jazzy, I am calling your Red a “stinking animal”) had turned around and came  rushing toward me, actually stepping on me as he came. And it wasn’t just on me, on a very delicate part of me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been stepped on by a horse plenty of times, but only on my foot or somewhere where it doesn’t hurt as much. But I’ve never had a horse step right next to my…well, we don’t need to go there. Good grief, that hurt.

And you know what my sisters did?

They just laughed.

I never cared for riding horses after that.


 

Thanks for reading ya’ll! – Joshua

 

Three Wishes

4a05a3958b4ba8a4cdb452f6f9f756fe This pic has nothing to do with the story, save being funny:)

Three men.

Stranded.

No food or water.

Just sand.

Sand, and the scorching sun above…

As the three men walked, they dreamed of what each would be doing had they not been left behind.

“I’d be home, indulging myself with pastries,” said the first.

“I just wish I could be with my family, I could care less for the food,” said the second.

“I’m just glad I’m not stranded here on my own,” said the third.

As they walked, the sun seemed to raise in temperature, burning their already blackened skin.

“Hey look! I found something!” exclaimed one of the three.

They all gathered ’round and examined the newly found object.

“It’s a genie lamp…should we rub it?”

“I don’t know if that will really work, but could be worth a shot.”

So they rubbed it.

“Who rubbed my lamp?!” cried the genie that shot out.

“We did.”

“Then I shall grant you three wishes…as in all fairy tails that involve genies do. Say, I wonder why it couldn’t have been just one, being a genie isn’t easy you know. It takes a lot of mental focus, and not to mention the headache after teleporting things. Like that one time that little brat–”

“Just give us our wishes!”

“Alright! Alright! Just be glad I didn’t count that as one. Now, what is your heart’s desire?”

“Oh! I wish to be home!” said one.

Pop! He was gone.

“Same! Oh to be home again!” said the other.

Pop! He was gone as well.

Pause.

The last man left looked around…

“It’s rather lonely here, I wish my friends were here again…”

Pop! They were back…

Stranded again.

As you can imagine, the third man did not survive very long after that, as the other two cried for vengeance.

Author Unknown

Thanks for reading!

 

Relief in an Air vent

IMG_6303

Have you ever done anything crazy because you were under pressure?

I remember an incident a long time ago…and I mean a looooooong time ago, back when I only had two siblings and my family could fit in an apartment. We actually did live in an apartment back then. Anyway, I was probably 6 or 7 and had normal childhood phobias…such as being afraid of the dark. Even more so to go out in the abyss of a hall way at night.

Now picture this:

It’s late in the night, and you’re a child that’s supposed to be falling asleep…

But then you feel the call of nature.

Great.

Being a kid that’s got to go in the middle of the night was intense. Especially when you have limited options. So what was I gonna do? Here’s what was going on in my head:

“Okay, I can’t go out in the hallway…too scary. I obviously can’t go in my pants cause that’s just embarrassing and I’ll be stripped of my dignity. Boy, this would be a good time to still be in diapers. I can’t go there, there or the-…wait…what’s that? Oh look! an air vent in the floor! It’s perfect, there’ll be no evidence…at least none that I could think of. I should probably wait till the air goes off first so it doesn’t blow back up.

(a few minutes later) There, it’s off. I can go now.”

So I pulled down my pants and…well, I think you got the picture.

Hey, I was young, under pressure, and didn’t have a whole lot of options! Like any of you didn’t do anything similar!

Thanks for reading! – Joshua B.

Comment below

 

 

Not So Common Courtesy

IMG_6170Whatever happened to common courtesy? Something as simple as a guy holding a door open for a lady is rare…

Growing up, I was always being taught manners and respectfulness, so it comes naturally for me to open doors for anyone who’s behind me or needs help…of course it should, I’ve got a pending OCD only child for a mother(she reads every post I write, so it’s okay) and a third-born dad which should say a lot:) Anyway, it’s a habit. Sometimes I get mad at myself when I forget to hold the door open for someone, or when I’m not able to help someone at the moment, more so when it’s a girl or woman. But what’s even worse for me is when there is another guy there watching that girl/woman struggle and not doing anything.

It’s just plain rude!

Sometimes I wish we could go back in time to, maybe, the 1800s or so, when etiquette and manners were a  big deal. The way society operated was so much more filled with respect for others. I mean, I can understand some girls like to do things for themselves and don’t always appreciate the help of us guys, but seriously? Guys nowadays need to step up their game.

Here’s a list of stuff I’m talking about (and these are just a few):

  •  When a pregnant lady is pushing the shopping cart while the man has his hands in his pockets.
  • When a girl is carrying something heavy, and a guy is there just watching.
  • Whatever happened to guys opening a simple car door for girls?
  • It’s very rare I see a guy pull open a chair for a lady, let alone offer the last chair.
  • Even terms of respect are scarce, like “Yes ma’am” and “Yes sir”.

I guess common courtesy isn’t so common.

“Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”-Phillipians 2:3

Thanks for reading! – Joshua B.

Lord, Teach Us to Pray

Law, Grace, & Real Estate

What if the sole indicator of your spiritual health was your prayer gauge?

What if the only fuel for your spiritual engine was the steam from your prayer room?

What if the only offering you had to lay before a loving king was the incense of your prayer?

I was never good at algebra. But one thing I learned is the importance of isolating a problem. Instead of being daunted by a long string of numbers, narrow the equation down to the offending variable. And so often, when all is not well with my spiritually, I dig down only to find that I lack a healthy prayer life. Prayer is so elementary that I forget it is like the alphabet that makes up every meaningful word we will encounter for the rest of our lives. We will never graduate from the need for prayer.

In Sunday School recently, we were…

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